Into the Nothingness of Scorn and Noise






Victorian era fanatic, Romantic poetry (and poets) maniac, will commit murder to get my hands on a cravat and top hat. Living in the world of Charlotte Bronte.
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PRINGLES:
What is you obsession with chest hair? Sounds like lust. Are you…lusting after fictional characters? Shame on you! You should be a good housewife and not lust after the chest hair of men other than your husband! I don’t think I can read this book with such…vulgarity as the description of chest hair. That breeds sinful thoughts.

BOOKSDEFYGRAVITY:
OH ALSO.
Someone NEEDS to write a crossover of this and My Immortal.
Actually, I think you’re the same person who wrote My Immortal.
You evil genius you

SOS:
Stop with the chest hair fetish! It’s disgusting! No child in their right mind wants to know about snaps or dumbledores “virile tresses”. I’m a sixteen year old girl and it makes me want to puke. If you have such an infatuation with the stuff why don’t you just go watch chest hair porn (cause there’s porn for everything right?) or go snuggle into hubby’s “thick carpet” because I’m almost positive at this point that he has one. Does he have a small dick so you have to fantasise about his chest hair instead? In any case, it’s truly frightening and needs to stop for the good of everyone on this site.

GUEST:
So, tell me, are you gonna include the scene wherein Dean Thomas respectfully f***s Seamus in the ass or…?

GUEST:
The part where Harry changes dracos faith was the best. I’m laughing that your spouting Christian charmed yet you essentially took away a persons free will and changed their faith.

I also like the part where God is basically a doormat and angels are postmen

comments on Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

CILILIT BANG BANG:
I demand fanart of Voldemort in a t-shirt, sweatpants and sneakers.

While leaning on his eco-friendly car and smoking weed.

And reading The God Delusion.

Maybe have a snake curled up next to him, eating an apple. You know. As a biblical reference…

comment on Hogwarts School of prayer and Miracles

hogwarts school of prayer and miracles trollfic voldemort in sweatpants god delusion

MIKKO:
Only a thin layer of hair under his shirt? Drives an eco friendly car? D: This must mean he’s EVUL itself!

GUEST:
Um, how fancy did Jesus and John the Baptist dress? Or for that matter, any of the disciples. Just saying, they weren’t known for being impeccably dressed so maybe that’s not the only gauge of good or evil.

Also, if you are just unlucky enough to not have much chest hair, do you need to get some hair implants there or are you doomed to be evil?

CATHRL:
Oh noes - only a thin layer of hair underneath his shirt! Obviously he must be the bad guy…

You definitely missed a trick with the titling. “Harry Potter and the Manly Chest Rugs” would be so much better.

AndreaNicole081887:
I’ve got to say that the first few chapters were rough for me. I was both enraged and perplexed. It blew my mind that such people could exist. It shouldn’t have, of course, as I’ve encountered many “Grace Ann’s” in my lifetime.

But then you introduced us writers to so much chest hair and the well spoken and groomed Dean Thomas. It finally clicked. You, sir or madam, are just so brilliant. This has got to be my favorite satirical fanfic ever. It enrages nearly everyone. The way you completely ruin the HP books could’ve been enough, but you offend women, Catholics, atheists, liberals, and the WBC. I’m in awe. Really I am.

You could’ve kept the rouse going. However you’ve revealed Greg to be both Professor Snape and your writing teacher. We can’t possibly take this story seriously anymore! Of course, I’m going to continue to read this. It’s too good not to. I’m hoping that Voldemort can be saved by taking some Low-T pills. That way he too can have a thick glorious carpet of chest hair!

GLITTERINGGHILLIES:
Wow. You have truly shown me the truth in this chapter. I hope I can grow into a good, chest-hair loving Christian just like you!

WONKYFAINT:
I knew right away that the visitor would be evil when he was so egregiously lacking in chest hair. Truly a lack of chest hair is the mark of the Devil.

GUEST:
OH MY GOD THEY DON’T CALL HIM VOLDEMORT. IT’S HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED YOU SWINE. AT LEAST GET SOME OF IT RIGHT.

SAKURA NEKO-CHAN:
*snicker* Oh yes, only evil people drive eco-friendly cars! REAL good guys drive gas-guzzlers!

Also, got to love how the author inserts her own thoughts about things with no regard to whether it really fits in the story.

Also… obsessed with chest hair, huh? Odd.

OLDSOUL17:
so now being eco-friendly is a sin?! wtf?!

LILIAN M:
Yes because a member of Congress would be in t-shirts, and sweatpants. But hey, Voldemort cares about mother earth here. I am laughing every time i read this Grace Ann.

CHESTHAIR:
“only a thin layer of hair”

*dies*

The best part of this entire series.

GUEST:
Shouldn’t Voldemort be in a crisp black suit with a bright red tie for maximum evil? Another lol worthy chapter

comments on Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

GUEST:
Did anyone notice her writing teacher’s name is Greg…?

GLITTERINGGHILLIES:
Wow. You have truly shown me the truth in this chapter. I hope I can grow into a good, chest-hair loving Christian just like you!

YOURBIGGESTFAN:
This has to he’d me both spiritually and emotionally. It has taught me so much. I never realised how important a Chest Carpet was in society, or where food comes from. Now, however, I feel an overwhelming desire to be called ‘little one’ and keep my wife and daughter in the kitchen all day, as they should not pursue a career (What a silly idea!). They do not need them anyway, as they are related to such a manly man with a chest carpet and a big car for busy daddies, even though I don’t use it as I have discovered I can teleport with the power of Prayer.

I would like to thank you for the effort you have put in to make my life and countless others better.

comments form Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

hogwarts+school+of+prayer+and+miracles

I was thinking, you know the trope Draco in Leather Pants? Maybe we could have one called Voldemort in Sweatpants?

Though what that implies I really don’t know.

Incidentally, Ron is a Slytherin, the house of Death Eaters in canon, which reminds me of the trope Ron the Death Eater.

Also, Draco’s dressing is rather preppy. Enoby will probably hate him. I suspect “Grace Ann” is a troper!

hogwarts school of prayer and miracles my immortal
spoopymerry:

bless this fic
for those just tuning in, chest hair quantity is directly proportional to holiness 

spoopymerry:

bless this fic

for those just tuning in, chest hair quantity is directly proportional to holiness 

hogwarts school of prayer and miracles trollfic voldemort in sweatpants chest hair

I have a crack! theory. Remember Tara and Raven fought over a sweater and who loved Gerard Way more?

I’m guessing that Greg the writing teacher will read Grace’s fanfic, and perhaps he is a Catholic or atheist or anyone who’s not a Southern Baptist, and write a fanfic saying nasty things about her.Or they could have a theological argument, if both are Baptists, and defame each other on FF.net. The initially passionate affair will darken to hate and entertain us readers.

There is another possibility. After Raven stopped editing Tara’s work the grammar and spelling got worse. Now Greg is editing Grace’s fic, expect a change in the writing style. She’s going to surprise us.

Alternately, Greg could be given access to Grace’s account, and collaborate with her on the fic. When he writes a plot she hates, they’ll both diss each other on FF.net. And his ideas of a story are different from hers. The story will lose consistency and become even more ridiculous.

I don’t believe in Greg’s existence, nor Raven’s either. Greg I suspect is a sock puppet invented by the author.

hogwarts school of prayer and miracles my immortal trollfic

Some meta here. Has anyone noticed that Grace Ann’s writing teacher’s name is GREG?!

I think the narrator made a Freudian slip. Instead of saying Severus she wrote Greg. I think what will happen is, Greg the writing teacher will soon set up a fanfiction account and comment on it. They will both exchange lovey-dovey messages to each other, publicly on FF.net.

Perhaps Greg himself will write a Christian HP fanfic, and introduce a character called Grace. 

Whatever it is, Grace Ann is clearly attracted to Greg’s chest hair, that she based Snape on him. 

Talk about self-insert (or friend-insert) fic. What I wonder is, who is going to be Grace’s own self-insert who gets to have an affair with Greg Snape? 

So I’m speculating on Hermione/Snape, since Hermione is the only female character who gets any importance in this fic.

(Note that Grace Ann does not exist. She is only a person invented by the real author).

Also, she hasn’t bothered to correct loving the sin more than the sinner, despite the fact she is aware of the mistake. This indicates she is a troll who wants to raise laughs.

I died laughing. Voldemort in sweatpants and THIN CHEST HAIR?! I’m guessing Voldemort represents Grace’s husband, and Snape is Greg. Probably one of these days we’ll hear a rant from her about her husband dressing awfully.

hogwarts school of prayer and miracles trollfic chest hair voldemort hairy voldemort

Adverbs in Chapter 13

whispered tearfully

patted reassuringly

grinned admiringly

smiled humbly

commented intelligently

sobbed honestly

hogwarts school of prayer and miracles

But this banishment to the rocks and echoes no metaphysics an make right or tolerable. This result is so against nature, such a half-view, that it must be corrected by a common sense and experience … A man must be clothed with society, or we shall feel a certain bareness and poverty, as of a displaced and unfurnished member. He is to be dressed in arts and institutions, as well as in body-garments. Now and then a man exquisitely made can live alone, and must; but coop up most men, and you undo them … Nor is the rule otherwise for literature. If you would learn to write, ‘tis in the street you must learn it. Both for the vehicle and for the aims of fine arts, you must frequent the public square. The people, and not the college, is the writer’s home.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Society and Solitude

ralph waldo emerson society and solitude transcendentalism